The Ladder Climb[The Ascention]

I reach down in the deepest parts of what I call my mind
And grab the only thing that keeps me afloat...my pride.
Sometimes I feel, at self, to self, to walk alone on a path
Chosen not for me by someone watching my every move.
I had an opportunity to reach, but I slipped and fell
Into the eternal blanket of shame and sorrow.
Trust in me not to rise to the top, but administer
And apply a boost or prayer to find my way to where I
Belong again where I'm currently now.
Superficial dreams of me not wanting to fail causes
Too many a fluctuations on whether or not I'll make it there.
Foot by foot, I take my chances on not failing once more,
therefor I can't take losing again.
I'm risking nothing for everything and vice versa.
You think you know my soul but you have no idea.
When does this end,
When things stop to begin to thrive off being so damn difficult in this reality?
15 feet in the sky we call the air and not a care in the world or universe,
On if I tumble or not back to the soil.
Expressing myself through a tunnel of awakening just for me,
Bound to a boulder strapped to my spine and at my bare feet are
Shackled to a hand from hell itself, pulling my very essence down in a hole.
I'm in this alone but it can't be that complex to use a
Crowbar or a piece of my own life force to break free.
Either I sacrifice my own body as know as my outer shell to reach the top
And be remembered forever more,
Or I fail and be forgotten forever less without proof of living or achievement.

Poem #2(Freestyle Poem) - "Funny How Things Work"

When I fall down, I look around to see if anyone saw it. I wonder if someone did, would they care enough to ask me if I'm okay or try to help me up. If they don't, I wont be mad at them, but if they laugh, then we have something in common. We both participated in my downfall. They would probably walk around or over me and tell someone about what happened. I only tripped and fell face first so I guess it's nothing too major to the world. If that same person that laughed at me turned the corner and was struck by a moving car, people would stop what they're doing and rush to his aid or call for help. I'm still on the ground and I can't feel my face, but the laughing man gets up and walks away from his ordeal as if nothing even happened. Not once did I hear someone chuckle at him but at the same time, no one called 9-1-1 for me. Is it my permanent paint job, my age or the way I look that made it to where I couldn't get the same treatment? It's a dirty world that we live in or I'm just still dreaming from last night. I think it's still funny how things work.

Poem #1 - "Knowing Love would End"

I used to think that you and I would last forever
I even believed that we would make it through ever never.
We were closer than closer just like a married pair
But never once did I think our love would end and my heart would tear.
You made plans to make me happy, and I you
I saw you as my ace, my road dog, my baby and my best friend too.
You even accepted my ego, my oddities and my personality
I also felt a strong urge to maybe make kids a possibility.
If not for you, I would have never met honest true love
I saw hope the day I was down when I saw that pretty white dove.
Your eyes told me everything about you I needed to know
But I still have to make the decision of whether I should stay or if I should go.
Until that time, I'll trust you with all 7 parts of my heart
Pride and joy doesn't mix
But I'll record every part of our relationship until we break apart.
Time is truly our enemy.